Wasting away, in margaritaville

So I was taking some trash out at work Friday,(ok, playing Frisbee) and I ran into this thing called a sweeper, at my work. I guess it picks up leaves and grass. Well there are these two black metal boxes on the front (that ironically hold first aid kits) and I ran strait into one of those and ripped a fatty ass chunk of skin open on my shin. I thought I just hit it really hard and bruised it. It was dark (that's why I didn't even see the sweeper corner) and after falling over, I put my hand on it to put pressure on it, just like anyone would do if the got hit by something and my hand made like a squishy splat sound, haha! Turns out I had a cut deep enough that I could touch the bone! It was pretty sweet. I tapped on the bone to see if it actually was my bone. yep. Hey shut up you'd have done it too so don't even try to lie. So I go to E.R. and wait for 4 hours before getting helped. Typical E.R. stuff. A little while after a nurse comes in, puts an empty tin under my leg, then she fills this other tin up with some kind of cold, light blue liquid. Then she gets this big-ass syringe and fills it up with the blue liquid that is cold as shit, and starts spraying it into my cut. It was cold and kinda ticklish. She did that about 20 times. I asked her how she likes my cut and said she's probably seen all kinds of stuff. We small talk about her tattoos. They are her son's names. After she cleans my cut, she puts a temporary bandage, and leaves. An hour goes by, and the two 5mg vicodin they give me does absolutely nothing for the hour I sit there before a doctor comes in. Lucky for me for some reason this injury doesn't hurt at all. It's weird, it didn't even hurt when I just got it, or even 20 minutes after I got it. It is literally the most painless injury I have ever had, yet the most severe injury I've ever had... aside from stepping on a nail and having it go all the way through my foot one time when I was stomping siding shingles against a tree for firewood in the middle of the night camping one weekend a few years ago. Anyways a Doctor comes in with this seemingly 18 year old kid. I'm thinking this kid is about to put stitches in my leg and I'm like "bring it on kid, lets see what you GOT!" but no. The doctor pulls out one of those needles in the movies thats like 4 feet long and flicks the end of it as he looks at my poker face. He says this is gonna sting a little, and I look down at my gaping wide cut like, "huh?" He pokes it in about 8 or 9 different places and squeezes the liquid in. A few minutes later, I'm touching my leg and it literally feels like a plank of flesh. Like I could go at it with a machete and it wouldn't even matter. I actually imagined going at it with a machete for some dumb reason. My brain is a silly thing like that. Well about 20 minutes later, doc comes back in, and he starts stitchin me up. He's showing the kid how it's done and what you should and shouldn't do. I ask him what he thinks of my sweet cut and he looks at me with a silly smirk and says "hey bud, your leg is still attached." and that was the end of that one, haha. He was a funny guy. I got the impression he was in the service at one time. He was very serious and efficient. He kept repeating everything I said, when I wasn't talking to anyone in general. Like I would say, man my leg now just feels like a chunk of flesh, and he'd say "you leg just feeeeeeells like a chunk of flesh, don't it?" I think it's his way of coping with patients who are all loopy on drugs. I started to think about how when I went with my dad to E.R. once after he cracked a rib slipping on some ice at work, they gave him a shot of Demerol and he started giggling and talking about his high school days. My dad NEVER talks about his childhood.

Fast forward to the follow up appointment on the following Monday. I tell the doc my fingers hurt really bad, and she gives me some Tylenol 3's with codeine. Just as useless as the Vicodin I got from the ER. I don't know what it is man, I can't take that stuff, it just makes me horribly SICK, even if I eat food with them. Doc even gave me some Ondansetron which supposedly makes nausea and upset stomach not happen when taking muscle relaxers. They also do absolutely nothing. Luckily this injury doesn't hurt at all. Follow-up doc says I can't run, drive, crawl, kneel, climb, jump, or anything. So for me, I have a week off of work! Wooooooooo!! My follow-up-follow-up appointment is today. Then I have the next two days off, and of those two days, one of them is my birthday. Damn, I'm getting old, this sucks.




And now for a completely unrelated image.

My computer...

Is a piece of shit at the moment, so I shall leave you with this, until I have time to fix it properly.

Life is like a box of chocolates, and I just got the damn coconut one.

So either theres a Mars-Uranus conjunction in Pisces, or I just have naturally, randomly had very bad luck with electronics lately. Two Fridays ago my blackberry's keyboard just suddenly stopped working for no reason when I pulled it out of my pocket. It is still on and functioning, but none of the keys work at all. That really blows, because I do EVERYTHING from that damn phone. I loved my blackberry! :( 3 days of no phone later my mom tells me I can have my dads Verizon Razor, so I go pick that up, and activate it. Yay! I have a phone again... until 4 hours pass, and I go to plug it in and it doesn't charge... great. Oh well, I fucking hate T9 anyways. I guess it's back to my old EnV, the phone I like to call "The Brick"The thing has already outlived 2 nuclear blasts, so I guess it will work for now, even if the zero key sometimes types 089 and the up button doesn't work at all. Then about 5 days ago my computer got like 3 hardcore viruses. The viruses are randomly making links I click go to completely different sites, and my virus protection is constantly going ape-shit about critical software violations it can't do anything about, because they are attached to vital system processes. It may or may not have anything to do with the random bout of porn I decided to download recently, but thats beside the main point.
Because of all of this, not only have I not been checking emails, facebook etc. but I don't have anyone's phone numbers in my brick, which means theres nobody to text at work and waste time, and I cant twitter about how this little girl just blasted this kid in the head on the playground with her fist after he wouldn't stop "tagging" her. Ahhhh kids. I really love working at Coulon Park. It's busy as fuck, and people are everywhere. All I do all day long is drive around on a Gator and empty garbage cans, stare at cuties, get free bbq food, mainly from generous philipino families who always cook more than they can eat, and waste copious amounts of time. It really is the best job I think I've ever had. Too bad it's only until like december... :(

"The Art of Manliness Manly Holiday Gift Guide"

Stumbled across a quite decent site not too long ago that encompasses everything any decent man (or any awesome woman) should know about the life and workings of men. If your husband/boyfriend/best friend/whoever's birthday is coming up, and you don't know what to get him, if he's classy even the least bit, he will surely appreciate a good 90% of everything on "The Art of Manliness Manly Holiday Gift Guide"

FML

(Picture is semi-unrelated)

"Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML"

Read this and other funny fuckmylife scenarios at http://www.fmylife.com

99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet Unless You're a Loser or Old or Something

(Photo un-related)
Greg Rutter's Definitive List of The 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet Unless You're a Loser or Old or Something

That is all for now.

video games

Are the devil, but why do I like them so? They are the opposite of that in which I want to be doing, but still, I am lured by their shiny turbo buttons and respectable auto reset switches. Power-ups and life potions, dance merrily about in my dreams.

The end.

PS from now on I will be posting a completely random internet picture I find, that I deem is badass in some way.

Health kick teeter totter

I'm back on the up end of the health kick teeter totter. I fall off of it every once in a while, but when I get back on it, it's good times. Basically the rules are, if I'm not sore, I'm not winning, and everything I eat needs to be as close to the ground as possible, for example no cheese-its but any fruits and veggies are fine, basically I try to stay away from anything in a bag or box, and anything with preservatives. I try to only drink water, and lots of it. As much as possible actually. Technically I've heard the best thing to do is try to drink half of your body weight in ounces of water. We'll see how it goes... lol I think I owe my gym money.

My astrological birthchart

This likely isn't interesting to anyone else but me, but if your my friend, give it a quick read-through, and comment, let me know if this sounds like me. Astrology has always been really interesting to me, and every once in a while I'll check out my birthchart on different sites to see how accurate I think they are. I feel like it totally sounds like me, what do you think?

P.S. this is a free birthchart reading, you can get your own done here:

http://www.alabe.com/freechart/

If you get yours done, write a blog with it so I can read it too.

Name: Travis

September 10 1984
1:55 PM Time Zone is EDT
Southfield, MI

Rising Sign is in 06 Degrees Sagittarius
You are known for being open, frank, outgoing and honest. At times,though, you are also blunt and quite indiscreet. Others have to learn not to take everything you say personally, because you usually do not mean any harm. You appreciate living your life in astraight forward and simple manner -- you dislike social niceties and consider them to be hindrances to real communication. You have lots and lots of energy and tend to become quite restless if you feel confined. You demand the freedom to do as you choose -- you must be self- directed or you feel trapped and anxious. With your abundant energy, you enjoy being outdoors, and you should be attracted to physical exercise or to those forms of sport which can help you burn off some of that excess energy. Very gregarious, you love to socialize -- your innate enthusiasm livens up any gathering.


Sun is in 18 Degrees Virgo.
Extremely careful and cautious by nature, you value neatness and order above all else. You rigorously practice very high standards of living and conduct and you demand the same of everyone with whom you come into contact. At times, you are so supercritical that you are merely nit-picky. You are very good at practical skills and quite handy with tools of all kinds. You are also greatly concerned with hygiene, cleanliness and personal health problems. Very likely your health is much better than you think it is -- don't worry so much! Extremely methodical and analytical, you are a perfectionist -- this makes you the perfect person to carry out highly detailed, precise operations. But, at times, you pay so much attention to details that you lose sight of the larger issues.


Moon is in 23 Degrees Pisces.
You have strong feelings and are extremely sensitive. It would help if you had a thicker skin -- you tend to react emotionally to every situation you come across. Kind, gentle and considerate of the feelings of others, you are good at taking care of the sick, wounded and helpless. But you tend to absorb the energy of others -- so avoid those who are always negative. You have a rich, creative and
lively imagination, but you should be careful not to spend all your time daydreaming. Very intuitive, you have good ESP and may be quite clairvoyant or psychic. Remember that you too have the right to get what you want from life. If you are always defensive and kowtowing to others, people will take advantage of you and exploit you.


Mercury is in 00 Degrees Virgo.
Very thorough and efficient, you pay attention to the minor but important details of any project. You are a careful thinker who can learn complicated, intricate techniques. You are attracted to practical, useful skills and are probably good at working with your hands. You are very critical of yourself and others, sometimes too much so, and you get the reputation of being a nag or of being nit-picky. Your first reaction to any situation is to try to organize, classify and analyze everything!


Venus is in 11 Degrees Libra.
A very friendly and outgoing person, you hate to be alone. Beware of a continuing tendency to compromise yourself in order to avoid being lonely. Try to be yourself, not what others would like you to be. You have an innate desire to be in refined and elegant surroundings and will go out of your way to create a plush and comfortable atmosphere around you. You have heightened aesthetic sensibilities
and are attracted to music and the arts. Try to avoid using your well-known seductive charm in order to get out of doing what you consider to be dirty work!


Mars is in 13 Degrees Sagittarius.
Your every action is motivated by high moral standards and ideals. You will work very hard to improve the lot of the world at large, but you demand action about it -- you do not like to just sit around and talk about doing it in an abstract manner. You like to be where the real action is. You resist mightily any attempts to limit your freedom and you will assist anyone who feels put down and restricted. You are extremely restless by nature -- physical exercise is very important to you if you would maintain your health.


Jupiter is in 03 Degrees Capricorn.
You tend to feel that the only results that are worthwhile are the results that are concrete and demonstrable. You distrust abstract solutions and appreciate measurable achievements. An excellent
organizer and planner, you are optimistic as well as practical and realistic about what can and what cannot happen. Very responsible, you consider it a personal weakness to be wrong about anything. This makes you appropriately cautious. You are very efficient but you tend to be cool and detached.


Saturn is in 12 Degrees Scorpio.
You tend to release emotional energies only very reluctantly. This is partly due to your fear of what horrible calamity might occur should they be released -- your emotions are terribly complicated
and intense. Try not to repress these energies entirely, however, or you will succumb to negative and destructive forms of compulsive behavior. Give yourself the freedom to look awkward or silly once in
a while. The relief you feel will be quite therapeutic and the embarrassment (whether it is real or imagined) will pass quickly.


Uranus is in 09 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies
and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world.


Neptune is in 28 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued
with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."


Pluto is in 00 Degrees Scorpio.
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search.


N. Node is in 00 Degrees Gemini.
You will consciously seek out many different contacts with others throughout your life. Many of these will be of very short duration, not necessarily because you're fickle, but just because you always
seem to be more excited by the prospect of meeting someone new rather than prolonging your present relationships. At any rate, you will learn something new from almost everyone you come across --
intellectual stimulation is what you crave from others. You will be well known to neighbors and relatives, partly due to your curiosity about what they're doing -- you delight in keeping up-to-date about the latest news (and gossip).

Too Unique.

Tonight was a very, very unique night. I had deja vu. Not just any deja vu, it was deja vu that was so pristinely exact... I remember smelling the smells I smelled, the exact facial features of the girl's face I was looking at, after I said the exact phrase I remember saying, during the exact live reggae version of the song I heard, played by a band I have definitely never heard before, in a city I had only been in twice before, in a bar/club am positive I have never once been in before. This astronomically improbable circumstance of events could have never taken place more than once in even a lifetime of someone who does any of these events commonly for any amount of time. I am almost encouraged after witnessing this rare manipulation of circumstance, to assume that there is without a shadow of a doubt, someone or something "pulling the strings" if you may. Call it God, call it "Spontaneous Formulation of Events," call it "Magnificent Absolute Reactionary Theory" or call it pure drunken assumption on my part, but to me, something with so many variables, happening like that more than once, in such a magnificently identical way, alone... proves that if there isn't some god out there, then there must at the very least be some kind of absolute repetitive formula in place that I just so happened to be privileged enough to have caught on to.

But no, this cannot be true, because I am not the only human who has seen this in such vivid purity before, witnessing it formulate in utter exactness of that in which was dreamed of at a previous time and place... sometimes having absolutely no recognition of, until the exact moment or two in which it took place in ones life.

Have you ever asked a question, and not expecting to even get an answer, or any kind acknowledgment or anything... to your amazement and bafflement you get a very exact answer through a short commercial you happen to hear in the background or a sentence you happen to be reading on the back of a novel's description that you happen to glance over and read on the back of the book that the lady in the booth next to you at the dirty spoon you are eating at is reading?

It's these small, SEEMINGLY, random events like this, that happen to me many times a month that truly make me ponder over whether I'm really just "floating through life" or if there is some cosmic RESPONDER to my premonitions...

PS i'm wasted right now.